Into the Wilds

Music Man took me to Whole Foods last night to assist in the grocery shopping. I think he was afraid if he let me go alone I would come out with 4 orchids and 2 boxes of granola bars. Let's just say he's a very patient man. Or he's secretly a PhD. candidate in psychology and I'm his test subject and just don't know it.

As I wandered up and down the aisles, Music Man pointed out all the things that would be good for me while I responded to most of his suggestions with "I don't like that" in the same tone I imagine most 4-year-olds use when presented with brussels sprouts (Satan's vegetable). Then I had to admit to a personal quirk. With few exceptions, I buy things in multiples of twos (Hello, Rain Man). The finale was in front of the Odwalla case with Music Man putting the small bottles of juice I had put in the basket back on the shelf and replacing them with a large bottle while telling me I would have to pour it in a glass. He said this with complete faith in my domestication because he's never been treated to the sight of me drinking juice directly from the carton.

Yes, this is why I live alone. No one should be subjected to me 24/7.